Succubus on Top CHAPTER 8

Georgina?I looked up from a baffling get at Tammi had asked me to help her with. A node with discover a receipt was attempting a re playfulnessd on a wad of books with dog-eared pages and broken spines, claiming all of them were duplicates whatsoeverone had undecomposed given him for his birthday.Just a sec, I t grey- calculateed her. Ive got to deplete this.Okay, numberh tell. I merely nonion you should check sophisticate up Casey.Casey?Yeah. Shes up in the cafe.That snagged my attention. I finished up with the customer, specialiseing him nicely that we couldnt accept books in this condition. Maybe if the alleged a nonher(prenominal) books were in better shape, he could pick bulge those in. He pouted and argued a bit before finally skulking dour. I rolled my eyeball once he was gone. One topic that never changed among hu military mans there were always those who regarded to get something for nothing. It was what unbroken hell in business.I found Casey teaset ing in the cafe, drinking a film over of water. There were sable circles under her eyeball, and she didnt display her usual care in makeup and hairstyling. She stared bleakly at the table, eyes dull and glazed over.Hey, I said gently, pulling up a chair crosswise from her. Hows it overtaking?After a moments delay, she looked up, not right plentifuly focusing on me. Okay.You sure? You dont look so okay.Dunno. Her tone was flat, distracted. I easily(p) had a late night, thats all. Sorry. Sorry I came in comparable this.No problem. Ive had my share of crazy nights. The thing was, Casey didnt hardly look hung over. I mean, she definitely looked the likes of she was recovering from something bailiwickly I couldnt effect my finger on it. It was weird. Whatd you get into? A fictitious charactery?Yeah. Dougs band had another one.Really. prognosticatesign to me. Must put one over been pretty good.Dunno.What do you mean? You were there.Her brow furrowed, confusion glinting in h er brown eyes. I dont corporeally remember. Stupid, huh? I must have really been trashed. I rememberbeing with Alec. because(prenominal) we left. We went somewhere. You dont k flat?She looked upset and closed her eyes. There was this big house, andI dont k promptly. I erectI just can buoyt remember. Im sorry, Georgina. I shouldnt have come in today, okay? Sorry.Its okay. So you have no idea what you did with him? nothing at all?She shook her head. I shouldnt have kept pushing for details of an employees personal life, tho something here daunted me. It was more than my bias against Alec overly. I remembered him pushing alcohol on women, his invitation to go somewhere more intense. Caseys inability to remember what had happened with him smacked of date-rape drugs.Did Alec give you anything?For the first magazine in this conversation, her dull expression change and looked alert. Ino. No. plainly she was lying. I could tell. Why? Fear of him? Embarr dirty dogment? I couldnt bri ng myself to question her anymore. She looked too miserable. I told her she should go home and get some rest she didnt need more than convincing.I took her place at the renders, silently fuming at that jerk Alec. My anger was furthered by the fact that I could do nothing. Caseys life wasnt really my business, and without her admitting to anything, Alec stood blameless.With Casey now gone, Paige out sick again, and Warren golfing in Florida, I felt relieved when Doug showed up. He looked as energetic as ever, so I hoped he could counter my plunging mood.I heard you had a party.Yup. He grinned, working the register next to mine. I tried and true label you, only when you werent home.Had a party of my own. Hey, did you notice anything weird with Casey and Alec last night?Weird how? I mean, they convergemed to be striking it come to.Nothing else?Nope. Not that I saw. Why? Are you interested? Hes a little untried for you, however if youre into that, I can give you his phone numb er.Hardly.Whoa, he suddenly exclaimed. Check this action out.He picked up one of the books his customer was paying for. It was a romance novel, emblazoned with a big chested man retention an equally big chested woman. Her neck was arched back, her lips open in a moan. And her dress was falling off.Bet theres some good shit in here. Nothing like some throbbing members and private prison term to get you off, eh?He winked at the customer, who turned crimson and didnt say anything. She handed over some cash in and hurried away as fast as she could.Aghast, I ignored the customers stand up there and grab supply Dougs arm, foolish him away from the counter.What the hell was that? I asked in a low, angry whisper.He laughed loud. Oh come on, Kincaid. I was just having a little fun. Those romance novels always crack me up.You do not comment on customer purchases. Furthermore, you certainly dont swear in front of them.Basic training. I know all this.Yeah? indeed(prenominal) act like it .We stood there, both of us shocked at my tone. I didnt think Id ever chideed to Doug in such(prenominal) a reprimanding way. Certainly not here. We were both assistant managers, partners in crime. Our entire working race was one of lightheartedness and messing around.Fine, he said aft(prenominal)ward a moment. Whatever.We went back to the registers, both of us pointedly ignoring the other. We worked without incident a while longer until I heard him say, Man, this has to be rough. Hope it all plant out.Looking over, I saw his customer buying a book about STDs. Doug returned my gaze with a challenging look. I finished my own purchase and then put up a register closed sign. Finding Andy at the information desk, I told him to ask Doug to swap spots.Dont tell him I told you to.Doug seemed safer support customers find books, yet no matter where I was in the store, I could hear him. He radius and laughed too loudly. Whenever I caught sight of him, he was always in motion like he co uldnt hobble quieten. Once, he was literally juggling books for a customer. Another time, I saw him actually skipping as he led a customer over to the cooking section. I frowned, unsure what to do. His lively nature had been fun this last week, only if he was pushing it now, and I wasnt entirely sure what my role should be in all of this.That redheaded girl said youre the manager here, a middle-aged woman suddenly said, approach shot me as I rearranged a display.Im an assistant manager, I told her. What can I help you with?She pointed to the information desk. That man was so rude to me. He helped me find some books, and thenhe saidShe couldnt finish, oscillating betwixt anger and distress. I looked at what she held. Books on clinical depression. Lovely. At least it wasnt called Going Postal in an Insensitive Bookstore. I took a deep breath to bulletproof myself and apologized profusely, promising Id deal with it. I then walked her over to the head of the check-out line and t old Andy to ring her books up for free. Warren never approved of that, but I didnt care at the moment.I waited for Doug to finish with his customer and then pulled him aside once more. We need to talk in the office.He gave me a lopsided grin. Studying him, I saw his eyes glittering with a distracted fervor. What for? Lets talk here. Ive got customers to help, you know. Cant let this goddamned place go unattended.I blanched at this, console forcing calm. We had a line of about four customers listening.No. Lets go in the back.He rolled his eyes and threw a friendly arm around me. Christ, youre uptight. Whats this about?You know what its about, I returned, wiggling out from under the arm. Youre out of line today.His smile fell. No, youre out of line. Whats with the attitude anyway? You cant talk to me like this.He was equable too loud. More populate were eruptping. I can talk to you like this when youre acting like a jerk. Youre disconcerting customers. Youre doing stuff thats tou t ensemble inappropriate, and you know it.Inappropriate? Jesus Fucking Christ, Kincaid You serious like Paige now. Im having fun. look on that? Remember when you and I used to do that around here back before you got this stick up your ass?We had a bona fide audience now. Customers and staff alike. Dead silence, save for the faint sounds of Vivaldi acting through the stores sound system.I mean, he continued, thriving on the attention, where do you get off acting like this? Who put you in charge? You and I are the self homogeneous(prenominal) rank, remember? Its like you get ten insurgents of fame in Mortensens story, and now you think you can put on airs. Why dont you go find him? Maybe if you got laid again, youd stop being such a bitch.Doug, I said, astonished at how firm and strong my voice was. It was like someone else was using my body to confront him, and I only watched. You need to go home. Now. If you dont leave, Ill have you re carry ond.Of course, I had no clue how I w as press release to pull that off. As it was, I felt almost fright to be facing off against him like this. My heart raced. We were standing close, shoting our wills at one another, and he had half a heads height on me and a bigger build. I didnt really fear forcefulness from him, but the physiologic intimidation was as scary as the psychological. Still, I held my ground, keeping my expression absolute and decisive.At last, he backed strike low-spirited, breaking eye contact. He shrugged and gave his goofy grin to those watching, like they were in on some joke with him. Sure. Whatever you penury. I dont care. I could use a day off anyway.He looked around again, face smug and defiant, like hed won. After another survey of the push, he laughed and stalk out.Nobody spoke or breathed after that. I drew myself up, like no(prenominal) of this had bothered me either. I strode purpose skillfuly away, saying to Beth as I passed Will you cover the desk now?I went upstairs to the c af? and had the barista make me a mocha. I took it with shaking detainment and turned around to find Seth standing there. He wore a Ratt shirt today.Thetis, he said softly.I walked over to one of the windows, and he followed. Outside, cars and people moved throughout Queen Anne. I watched them without seeing them. Seth moved behind me, his presence steady and reassuring. Waiting to catch me, even though I refused to fall just yet. This, I realized, was why I chose to catch ones breath with him, sexual mishaps or no.I approximate you witnessed all that.Yeah, he said. You handled it well.I didnt want to handle it at all.Someone had to. He fey my arm gently. You can be pretty uncultivated sometimes.I shook my head, still numb. I dont want to be fierce either.Georgina. Look at me.I turned and looked. Those lovely eyes were soft and full of love, yet underscored with strength.You did the right thing. He rested his hands on my arms, thumbs stroking the bare skin. You did the right th ing.Hes my friend.That doesnt matter.Whats wrong with him, Seth? Whats gotten into him?Isnt it frank?Not to me.He smiled ruefully. The same thing that made you eat a bag of Taco Bell food last night.What? throne doesnt do that. Make him behave like he did, I mean. Not the Taco Bell thing.No, he agreed. Pot wont do that, but he was obviously on something. I turned back to my view, thinking. I recalled Dougs nonstop vigor, that feverish look in his eyes. Yes, it made sense, and it was saddening. Id never know him to mess around with anything very much harder than alcohol and marijuana. Yetthere was more to his exuberance lately. A drug couldnt make you good at Tetrisor churn out an albums worth of songs in under a month. I dont know what it could be then. Ive tried almost everything once, I admitted sheepishly. Immortality allowed experimentation without the dangerous consequences mortals faced. But I havent made adequate of a see to really ID anything. What do you think? Some ki nd of amphetamine?I dont really know either.I rubbed my temples, sensing a nasty headache coming on. I wanted nothing more just then than to go home and veg on the couch with Seth on one side, Aubrey on the other, and a plate of brownies on my lap. It wasnt going to happen.Ive got to get back down there. Were short cardinal people now. Im going to be here until closing again.You want me to come over after work? Im supposed to tonality at Terrys, but I can bail on it.I assured Seth he didnt need to change his plans for me and then returned downstairs. Functionality had resumed as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. The only thing noteworthy was the way the other staff watched me now. Not with mockery or amusement, but something else. If I hadnt known better, I would have said my respect rating had just shot up.I got home after work, drained. Weak with exhaustion, mental and forcible. When I absorbed life from victims, it was normally to sustain my immortal existence a nd shape-shifting. But life was full of other things that required energy. Breaking and entering. Working two twelve-hours shifts in a row. Staying pious around the man of your dreams. Reprimanding one of your best friends and discovering he was probably addicted to something nasty.The need for vitality itched indoors me, making me irritable and anxious de hatred my worn-out imprint. For me, that energy-longing translated into lust, a sudden need to be touched and consumed by someone I could consume in return.I called Bastien.What is it now? he asked sarcastically. I suppose youre just going to cut to the chase and call Dana. That way you can get it over with and tell her how her neighbor has a plan to seduce her and bring down her organization. Maybe while youre at it, you can mention the break-in and get me arrested. You could even key my car if you wanted. It would be a perfect remainder to my already ruined career.Oh shut up, I snapped, not having the patience for this. Appa rently I still had some fury left in me from earlier. First, you were not going to bed Dana last night, so get that out of your system. Second, you probably deterred her by answering the door in the first place, as stoned as you were. Third, if youd really wanted to endear yourself to her, you would have shown more concern for me rather than coming off as an uninvolved asshole.How is your ankle? he asked reluctantly.Fine. You know how it goes. A sprain was barely a days concern for an immortal. Good sufficient to go dancing on.Dancing?Yes. I want you to take me out. Now. I just had the worst day ever. Sorry.Sorry? Are you turning me down? Since when have you been such a grudge-holder?Its not just thatwell, okay, possibly a little. But Bill invited me over to watch a football game.You hate football.Yeah, but I tycoon see Dana. Sorry, Fleur . Youre on your own tonight. Annoyed, I hung up and dialed the next best springr I knew.Cody, I said, were going clubbing.Okay, he returned agreeably, but Ill have to bring Hugh and Peter.Ack. They dance almost as naughtily as Seth.Yeah. But I promised Id hang out with them tonight. Unless you want to come over here? Were playing D&D right now. Do you know how many hit points a succubus has? all told right, all right. Bring them along.I hung up. It didnt really matter who came anyway. I mostly just wanted people to go out with. Companionship gave the outing some semblance of normality, though it wasnt like I ask any of them for what I was going to do.Jesus, woman, breathed Hugh when I answered my door an hour later. Youre kind of screwing with my sisterlike flavorings for you.I had on a pleated low-spirited skirt that covered less than half my thighs. My top was off the shoulder with three-quarter sleeves, and it stop just above my belly button, leaving my midriff bare. It was made of clinging, stretchy black lace that looked opaque in dim lighting and showed everything and I do mean everything in full light.Th e only closing left was what body to go out in. I didnt like to do succubus work in my usual shape the one that worked at Emerald City and slept with Seth. I wanted an unknown face, one that could forget and be forgotten. Staring at my bathroom mirror, I considered a number of features and ethnicities. Finally, I opted for a pretty Latina look, sultry with long dark hair.We went to the same club Bastien and I had danced at before. It play varying genres of music, but all of it was fast and heavy. It thrummed in the blood. Hugh immediately parked himself at the bar, looking exactly like the creepy guy who ogled younger women that he was. Peter seemed torn among joining him and hitting the floor. He was homebody enough to want to stay with Hugh, but I knew places like this were fertile hunt down grounds for vampires and succubi alike. Reluctantly, the frumpy vampire bought a drink and then made his way to the dancers, looking dispiritedly out of place. I knew hed survive, though hed been doing what he did almost as long as I had.I walked up to the bar and ordered a shot of Rumple Minze, which I downed immediately. It was funny part of me thought that I could scorn Doug for getting mixed up with some drug when I turned so readily to alcohol to ease my own tension.Dance with me, I told Cody, grabbing his hand.He looked good tonight, wearing a button-up shirt untucked and loose. It had a neat printed pattern on it, one of those that only confident guys with real fashion sense could actually wear. With his agile dancing and golden blond looks, he made a good partner.What am I, your limber up-up? he asked me a few songs later.I laughed. We were dancing awfully close, and I had been moving my body more provocatively than I normally would with a friend. Unconscious motion. My succubus aridness surfacing.Does it bother you?Nope. Well, other than giving me that weird incest feeling Hugh was talking about. But I dont think youre going to get what you need off me.T rue, I said scanning the crowd. The place was packed with mortals, all warm and energetic and burning with life in a way my friends and I did not. Again, the itch of longing seized me. I wanted to touch them all and knew Id have to break from Cody short.Whats got you all fired up anyway? We dont usually see you like this.That was true. Mostly he and the others just heard me bitching and moaning about my infernal job and how I hated seducing nice guys. Need to burn off some Seth lust. That, and I got majorly run down today, I explained, proceeding to tell him the rest.Cody felt as sad as I did about Doug, whom he knew and liked. The young vampire agreed that Dougs erratic behavior sounded amphetamine based, and he threw out a few suggestions for me. I made a mental note to look them up later.Cody and I finally cave in up, each to take care of our own business. I started working the room, much as I had the other night, only this time my motivation was legitimate. I had my pick of pa rtners and no end of free drinks. Each time I got someone to buy me one, Hugh still at the bar would shake his head with wry amusement.In about two hours, I had my mark. He was young and muscular, made extra gorgeous by lewd Mediterranean features. Italian descent, I suspected. He was also sweet and shy, clearly astonished that I kept dancing with him. His friends, watching from afar, apparently felt the same way.We had moved to a crowded part of the dance floor, jam-packed with other sweating, frenzied bodies. I rubbed mine against his in a more intimate way than the crowd quite required, my hands sliding over his body as we swayed. When our lips brushed against each others, he pulled back.He told me then awkwardly and reluctantly that he had a girl. That didnt come as a surprise to me. We stopped dancing, getting jostled by the crowd, and I feigned modest embarrassment for my boldness while pretending not to notice how he hadnt seemed to want to make the girlfriend admission. Er, wait, he said as I started to turn and leave. Hesitation hung heavy in his voice. The voice of someone nerve-racking to rationalize something he knew he shouldnt be doingbut wanted to anyway. True consternation churned on his face. I mean, we can stillwe can stillkeep dancing. Cant we?Five dances later, Id sweet-talked and bribed one of the waiters into letting us into a storage room in the clubs basement. It was dark and small and filled with extra tables, but it sufficed for what we needed. I could still hear the music from above, though none of the songs specifics. The whole building vibrated with the beat. My guy still appeared nervous, but alcohol and opportunity were clearly winning out over his better judgment. I didnt tell him my name. I didnt ask for his.I pulled him to me, and we kissed the kind of hard, furious necking that makes your lips feel swollen afterward. His hands started on my hips and then moved upward, peeling the lace shirt up as they went, exposing my breasts. His hands fondled them wonderingly, feeling their shape and size, making my nipples harden and stand out. He leaned down and put his lips to one, sucking hard. When I felt his teeth bite gently, I grunted in approval and shifted my hands down to loosen his belt.He straightened back up, and this time I was the one who went down literally. On my knees, I tugged on his boxers and released the erection that had been straining at the fabric.I ran my tongue along its tip, tasting the few piquant drops that had already seeped out. Then, without further hesitation, I took the whole thing into my mouth, letting my tongue roll over it as my lips moved back and forth along the length of the shaft. He groaned and laced his fingers across the back of my neck, trying to push more of him inside. The first tendrils of his energy began flowing into me, sweet and delicious. He was a good one, full of strength. I sucked harder, teasing him for a couple more minutes, then broke away and s tood up. The look on his face when I stopped became almost comically desperate. Like he couldnt believe I had just make that to him. Like I had just gone and hit his shins with a baseball bat.I shell my lips and smiled. You want more? Youre going to have to come and get it. This was the clincher. If I was going to go to the flap of bagging a guy with a strong life force, I index as well hit my quota with Jerome and do some corrupting as well. A guy with a serious girlfriend might feel guilty about fooling around with another woman, but hed feel guiltier still if he was the one who took serious steps toward initiating it. It was too easy to say she made me do it. My part was done he had to take over now.This guy might not have realized my subterranean motives here, but he seemed to sense the gravity of the situation. He stood on the edge now, the edge of a decision that could affect his eternal soul. Did he or didnt he? Did he give in to his lust and sleuth a woman he cared abo ut? Did he take a chance with me he might never get again? Or did he reject me and walk away? Did he stay faithful?My smile grew, slow and languid, as he debated. I paced around the room like I had all the time in the world, like I didnt care what he decided to do. The click of my heels sounded loudly on the hard floor. I turned away from him, trying to make out some old framed picture on the wall. It was mostly a dark blur in the dim lighting.Then, I felt him behind me. His hands slid from my waist down to my hips, then lower to cradle my ass. He pushed up what little of the skirt there was and pulled down the strappy black thong I had underneath. Slowly, his hands traced every curve, feeling and exploring. One hand moved around the outside of my leg toward the front, betwixt my thighs. The movement forced him to move closer to me, and I could feel him still hard, still ready press against my flesh.The exploring hand pushed farther between my thighs, and his breath was hard and hot on my neck. His fingers brushed the small, neatly trimmed patch of hair between my legs, then moved lower, dancing at the edges of my lips, teasing them. A small, urgent moan left my mouth, and I ground against him, hoping to get a response.He slid his fingers in a smooth rhythm, stoking my already raging desire. A minute later, those urgent fingers moved into me, probing and exploring. I was wet and slippery, but it still caught me by surprise, and I exclaimed loudly. He wrapped his other arm around my waist, pulling me even closer, and continued driving those fingers in and out. His life poured into me again. A purely physical burning welled inside of me too, growing stronger each time he moved in. But before that feeling could reach completion, he pulled his fingers out and left them out. My turn to feel unfulfilled. Gripping my shoulders, he turned me around, and I braced myself to be shoved on top of the table or up against the wall.To my astonishment, he pushed me onto my knees instead, his breathing frantic now, his eyes burning with hunger and lust. Your mouth, he gasped out. I want your mouth again.Unexpected and perhaps a little disappointing but it all worked the same for me. onward I could even act, he thrust himself back between my lips. A surprised sound lodged in my throat, and it seemed to turn him on even more. I no longer had to worry about who was taking the chess opening here it was all him. His hands held my head and neck in place as he wield away, pushing into me over and over.The life-force transfer started in earnest, his energy flooding into me with his thoughts and feelings. Finally, finally, finally, he thought, aching desire crackle china through him. Feeling his mind and soul, I realized then he might not have been so easy a tag as I originally thought.He loved his girlfriend. love her passionately. But she didnt like oral sex, and one of the biggest fantasies of this guys life was to bluntly fuck her face. Had I starte d foreplay in some other way tonight, he might very well have been strong enough to decline. But I had given him the one thing he couldnt refuse. It overpowered the guilt lurking in the back of his mind.Ill never get this chance again. Allison doesnt have to know.I knew that rationalization well. It was just about the oldest in the book.He thrust more urgently, that long shaft filling my mouth as his eyes watched me eagerly, and unintelligible, primal noises sounded in his throat. And for me, who had been denied an orgasm, joyfulness was building in a different way. Life-force transfer doesnt occur at the point of a physical contact or even orgasm. Its bigger than that, more holistic. Soul to soul. His energy washed over me now in waves, and it was pure ecstasy as I rode that ocean higher and higher. My body burned with it, tight to the breaking point. Before that crest crashed over, before our connection broke, I caught one more thought from him, plain and simple mouth or faceAh, men.He chose mouth, moaning loudly as he came. Warm, bitter naiant flooded over my tongue as his body spasmed and his nails dug into my neck and scalp. I waited until he finished, then swallowed because I knew it was what he wanted me to do. It was what every guy wanted. And really, it was the least I could do for him, because with his orgasm came a climax of my own.The full force of his energy hit me like a bolt of lightning at the same time he felt its wrong. I broke from him, gasping at the feel of that power, swimming in that bliss, tonic and alive. He, however, stiffened and paled, suddenly weak and confused at losing something he hadnt even known he had. He groped blindly for support and caught the edge of a table as his legs gave out underneath him. The table saved him from completely falling over, and I caught his other arm, balancing him. Carefully, I eased him down so he could sit and lean his body against a chair.His eyes struggled to stay open as the shock of his ener gy loss pulled him toward unconsciousness. Another cardinal succubus rule the stronger the guy, the stronger his loss would be. Oh my Godwhats wrong with me?Pushing aside any(prenominal) kindly feelings or sympathy I might have, reminding myself hed eventually recover, I stared down at him nonchalantly and rearranged my clothes. I think you drank too much. I leaned over and tugged up his pants. Ill go get help.He started to protest, but I was already out the door. I strode back to the dance floor, haloed in his energy. I felt like a goddess entering a temple of worshippers, and many sets of eyes seemed to regard me as exactly that. A few quick searches, and I found his friends from earlier. I told them hed passed out downstairs and left them to deal with it.This ones on me, I heard Hugh say when I walked back up to the bar. My post-sex glamour would be especially obvious to him.I ordered a shot of Jagermeister and chased it with another shot of Goldschlager. Nothing like funny-na med hard drink to top off an evening.Does it make you feel better? the imp asked. He inclined his head toward the two empty glasses.No, I said. But sometimes it helps me not remember as much.I went home after that and cooked myself in a long, hot shower, trying to wash away the feel of sex. My buzz soon yielded to my second headache of the day and a slightly nauseous feeling. I had just settled down on the couch for mindless TV watching, back in my normal shape, when Seth showed up.I wanted to see how you were doing, he explained, sitting down next to me.Better, I told him uneasily. Sort of. I went out with the gang.Ah. Sounds fun. He didnt sound entirely sincere. I think the gang still kind of weirded him out a little.He leaned his head on the couch and stared at me for a long time, not saying anything.I laughed in spite of myself. What?I dont know, he said, face serious. He reminded me of a child staring at the tree on Christmas morning. Its weird. Its just youre soso beautiful t onight. I mean, youre always pretty, of course, but tonight, I dont know I cant take my eyes off of you. I want to He didnt give voice to the urge.Must be the wet hair and pajamas, I said lightly. Always a turn-on.But I knew what was bedazzling him. The guy from the club. Or rather, that guys stolen life. Humans couldnt resist it. Immortals couldnt resist it. Racking my brain, I realized Seth had never seen me so soon after a fix. Hed seen me the same day sometimes and also commented on my attractiveness then but this was the first time hed received its full effect. It made me feel guilty to see him looking at me like this.His hand reached for mine, and I tried not to flinch as he took it. Even after the shower, I felt dirty and cheap. I didnt want him to touch me after what Id done, even if it had been in a different body. I didnt deserve such love.Seth sighed, still enchanted. His long fingers traced warm, whirling patterns on my skin. I felt my breathing grow heavier. I wish I could put your beauty into words. But Im not that good of a writer. Guess I need some work.I stood up hastily and tugged at his hand. Now youre just being silly. I think youre the one that needs to go home and rest.He blinked. Oh. So no more, uh, attempts at sleeping?I hesitated. I wanted to do it again but still didnt trust myself. Or Seth actually, not with the way he kept watching me with such rapt admiration, that heat burning in his eyes. One would have thought a backroom fling might have sated my lust for the night, but I wanted Seth just as much as ever. Of course, in retrospect, maybe that wasnt a surprise after all. Said fling hadnt exactly addressed my physical needs.No, I told Seth. Not yet. Too soon.He looked like being separated from me would hurt him physically, but he finally conceded when I let him kiss my cheek. It was long and lingering, more sensuous than one would expect, making me inspire and then exhale a long, shuddering breath. I wouldnt return the gesture, however. Not with these lips. He waxed on about my beauty a few more times before finally leaving, and I went to bed shortly thereafter.Lying there, I told myself over and over that I had done the right thing at the club. I had done what I needed to do to keep myself strong and capable. After all, Seth had said he loved my whirlwind. Sex was the means of keeping it strong. I had done the right thing. And I had done the right thing with Doug too. Everything Id done today had been for the best.And yetif that was true, then why did I feel so terrible about it all?